The Penis Always Loses

Men can never win!

I’ve been alive for 42 years and the only hard truth I’ve come to realize is that men, no matter what they do, are wrong.

Take the latest issue of Cosmopolitan Magazine, for instance. The editor of the Sex and Relationships section wrote that it’s wrong for a man to enjoy giving a woman an orgasm.

In her view, men derive masculine pleasure from the act of giving a woman a climax. She goes on to explain that the female orgasm should be womancentric and, if the man takes too much satisfaction from her satisfaction, then she is merely a vessel of his own desires reflected and projected.

I’m not making this up. Go Google it if you don’t believe me!

Ok, so for decades, much of feminism has derided men for not caring enough about their partner’s orgasm. Now, he’s selfish if he does?!

How can we ever win. If we follow this lady’s logic to its ultimate conclusion, the best thing for couples to do is to give each other battery-powered implements, or adult DVD’s once a year for their birthday, then go into separate rooms and rub one off. Then they can gather in the living room in the afterglow and compare notes. Maybe on Christmas, they can videotape the experience to give their spouse a bit of an extra thrill, but not too much of one!

Here is my question for the Cosmo editor. If a man is having trouble with erectile dysfunction and the woman blames herself for it, as many women erroneously tend to do, is she being selfish? If he takes Viagra, should she be angry, or should she be as happy as Bob Dole on New Year’s Eve?

You know… Maybe Eliot Spitzer had a point. Prostitution is a more direct means of alleviating sexual tension without worrying about your partner’s feelings. Of course, I can’t afford it, but if I ever achieve Donald Trump’s level of affluence… But never mind. I never did have a taste for Russian women. I certainly have a taste for American women… But there I go being selfish again.

Sorry, ladies.

Author: Ryan Osentowski

My name is Ryan Osentowski. I am a conservative blind guy going through life using the structured discovery method. I currently work as the Station Manager at a radio reading service for the blind. My passions include politics, writing, cigars, old-time radio, quality TV shows and movies, food, music, reading, clocks, swimming and tbd. I hope you will enjoy what you find here. If you don't...try it with a strong dose of alcohol.